This morning when my "plans" were (not unusually) interrupted by kids with sudden, bright ideas, I found myself reflecting on "living after the manner of happiness" (2 Nephi 5:27).
I've always found that verse fairly vague—any meaning you derive from that is your own interpretation .... So here's mine.
*For me,* it sounds like a mental lifestyle. It sounds like making small choices within the small confines of what I can control. For me, I'm happiest when I don't have much of a calendar and I'm able to fly by the seat of my pants.
Or should I say, my kids pants?
You never know what energetic, brilliant, creative kids (who are home with you all day!) are going to throw at you. You just can't predict ANYTHING. I can't predict when I'll get a chance to shower, or when I can respond to a text, or when I'll have a quiet window to do some personal study. I can't predict when the toddler will allow us to do a read aloud. I can't predict when my older kids might suddenly decide to follow instructions previously given multiple times. I can't predict my own moods or energy levels, which flunctuate far more often than I'd like to admit. And to top it off, I have no idea when my husband will be home (and checked in with us).
This is not all complaint. To some extent this delights me. I am NOT one for schedules and boring, mundane days on end. I enjoy spontaneity and making a supportive place for my kids' (or MY—let's be honest) big ideas (which sometimes need to happen TODAY!)
Today the big ideas were: a mother-daughter jog in the park; making homemade bread and selling it to the neighbors; and memorizing 2 monologues by this afternoon, to prove that the double load can be handled. Plus whatever the three year old comes up with on a moments notice, whether it be doing the dishes, or inviting the chickens into the house, trying on a dozen outfits, or bathing a pet rabbit (there is no such thing as a tidy activity for this girl). Somewhere in there I hope to see some showers and chores but with this crowd, you never know. Maybe after 15 reminders.
I have chosen to unschool 4 children who all have some sort of mental/emotional challenge. That makes for a very busy, crazy life! Structure is not a forte in our house, but creativity is. A clean house is very rare, but excitement and ideas abound daily! Emotions in our family are rarely even keel, but we pick up the pieces and learn from each other.
For someone like me, living after the manner of happiness means controlling my stress level, remaining flexible, and minimizing my calendar (as well as expectations) so that there can be a POSSIBILITY of joy *within these circumstances.*
Living after the manner of happiness is the difference between being stressed, frustrated, and resentful, or being excited, goofy and thrilled—in this exact scenario either way!
To some degree, Nephi and his family had to learn to roll with the punches. Living in the wilderness (and having his life continually threatened)*, they could not afford to have high expectations for much of anything. But they needed to find joy in the journey regardless. They needed to focus on what they COULD control, to make room for the tiresome journey to be seen as an adventure, or as an investment for wonderful times ahead, or what have you!
Life is full of inconveniences, disappointments and frustrations. How can we work within those given confines, within our current circumstances, to make it a more positive and joyful experience?
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*I'm not being exact with the timing and placement of the "manner of happiness" verse, but I'm making a point so give me some grace
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