Getting it Together & Coming Clean.

I have been wishy-washy, I have made mistakes, I have been less than sane, but I finally feel I am getting things together. I feel like I've come full circle and now back to "extreme" but for the right, rational reasons. God has led me here and I am so grateful, I think I am finally ready to be balanced and commit myself to a healthy lifestyle.

Gradually over the past 4 years I have been healing from emotional and binge eating. I am finally nourishing myself to where I am not hungry all the time. I feel that my compulsive eating my whole life has been due to malnourishment. But now, the more I nourish myself, the more in control of my eating I am. I have seen this for 4 years now. But I couldn't ever really keep it up, I had several things hindering my commitment to healthy eating. Most of you who think I am a health nut never saw this because I kept a good public face. But I have not been consistent. It was hard on me emotionally to make the adjustment. Anyway now I am ready. I will be consistent. Some events recently have made me realize how much I cannot keep doing what I have been, and I cannot raise my kids like that. We're ready to "go public."

We eat mostly raw foods because of the following reasons.

(1) Leaky Gut Syndrome. It appears that we are gluten-intolerant and I think that's why Rychen P. and I get bloated so easily. We have recurring yeast issues and we are both very sensitive to food.

(2) Chronic Fatigue, mood disorders, and other symptoms of Candida.

(2) Asperger Syndrome. Rychen P has it for sure and I have it to some degree. It's in the family so I am pretty familiar with it. It is linked to gluten/casein intolerance, and high-fructose corn syrup. When Rychen P. has been eating those things, it's clear as a bell. But when he is off gluten (we're usually off dairy products anyway) and eating mostly raw foods, you probably can't tell. But for those who have suspected it, yes that is why he is exceptionally verbal, precocious, rule-oriented, literally-minded, obsessive, and has trouble processing emotions, especially when he's overstimulated. That is why he prefers adult conversation to playing with kids. (Also, neurological problems can show up as sleep disturbances--kids like Rychen P. often wake up too early. We've noticed a very distinct pattern of waking up too early if he's on these foods). It has been hard for me to see my son being different from other kids, but I am coming to terms with it and I want to go public with it.

Also for those of you who have noticed similar symptoms in myself, I think that is why I get obsessive about rare things (like raw foods for instance) and why I am sometimes socially awkward or aloof. That is why I could go on and on about facts I read about and yet not quite feel comfortable in a conversation about pop culture. This is why I am moody. I throw fits like a 2-year-old sometimes (mostly when there's too much stimulation). This is also why I can be a smart-alec, because I think so literally. I am very analytical, and my mind runs 100 mph. Sometimes my language is clumsy because my words can't keep up.

But all these things are minimal when I eat healthy. I learned a couple years ago that I had to eat healthy just so I could be a good mom. I fear that people think I am weight-obsessed but the truth is, the way I eat has nothing to do with my figure. The reason I watch what I eat is mainly because of my horrible digestion but also because of my mental health (This is all besides being vegetarian for spiritual reasons, which came first before any of this started). And the truth is, I would like to gain a bit of weight and get more curves. I try to do weight-bearing exercises for this but I haven't been consistent enough. And I feel that if I can be consistent about eating right, and finally get my nutrient levels up, I can put on healthy weight.

So there it is, all on the table. I wanted to come clean and tell you all exactly what goes on inside my head. Our intentions from here on out is to eat a high-raw diet and avoid processed foods like the plague. We are doing a healing diet using sprouts and cultured vegetables (close to the Body Ecology Diet) to heal our gut to help our digestion and nutrient absorption. But I do intend to eat high-raw for the rest of my life and to raise my kids this way. When they grow up they can eat however they want.

Where does Rychen stand in this? He has been nothing but supportive. I don't think I have heard a murmuring word since 2005 when he was first afraid I'd make a vegan out of him! He knows for himself how food affects us and how we need to be a happier family. He supports raising our kids this way. He eats with us a lot too, but also makes his own food. I am fine with him eating what he wants. We have found a nice balance, and our marriage has never been stronger.

I ask that you all will support us in this. It might mean we can't eat your food. It might mean you feel uncomfortable with our lifestyle. Please know I don't judge or impose this on anybody else. This is just what we as a family need to do. And I love it. I feel SO MUCH BETTER when I eat healthy. For 20 years I was overweight, depressed, and TIRED all the time. I finally started researching nutrition after Rychen P. was born and it changed my life. I've lost 60 lbs. and kept it off for 3 1/2 years including a pregnancy! My acne cleared up, I had good energy levels, I never got headaches anymore, and for 2 years I never had a cold or even a runny nose (until I slipped back into sugar eating). I honestly believe that eating right will heal the immune system as well as most other physical infirmities.

Also, I was able to do some detoxification between my pregnancies, and my second pregnancy was a world of difference. I had so much more energy and wasn't emotional at all! I was barely even nauseas, I NEVER got water-retention, and I was able to keep my energy up the ENTIRE pregnancy (versus laying on the couch for 8 months my first pregnancy!) and the labor was so sweet, so short (because the contractions were effective) and enjoyable, yes Enjoyable! Delivering Elisabeth was the best experience of my life, and I feel it was due to the nutritional AND mental/spiritual preparation I worked at the entire pregnancy. I look forward to having (lots) more kids, especially if we can conquer these issues that affect not just physical health but my confidence as a mom and the kids temperaments as well. We want to be a happy family!

So what do we eat? Fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds, sprouted legumes and gluten-free grains, cold-pressed oils, dehydrated foods, and occasional animal products. If you have any questions about the raw food diet, do a google search. There is all sorts of wonderful, interesting, life-changing information out there!!