Oh, there is so much I want to do, and so little time. 24 hours in a day and currently I am sleeping 9-10 of them, and running around like a wild chicken the other 14-15 hours. Makes for an exhausting day, I tell you. The calm times for me are when I lay down with my kids to put them to sleep. This is a habit I have kept since Rychen was a baby, and I feel strongly that its a good habit, not only to nurture my children but to give me predictable down time a few times a day. I get about fifteen minutes or calm conversation with my son, and then some introspection on my part. And I will be honest, I don't have great daily prayer habits, so this is my opportunity to reflect and "speak" to God. Anyhow, I had a rather hectic day today and took a while to get Elisabeth to calm down for bedtime (she's a wild one!). When I was finally laying down, nursing her, I was literally catching my breath. I took some deep breaths and visualized some things. I thought about how I am spending my time, what my focus is right now, and how I need to re-do some things.
One of the things I pray for is to feel more love, not just for my kids but for my young women. I have a new calling, the YW secretary. I don't just want to slide by - if I do something, I do it all the way. I want to be a genuine leader that the girls can trust. I want to touch them and let them know I care for them. But I can't fake it, and right now I don't even know their names. So I pray that I will gain a genuine concern and love for them, to know them individually, and that they will trust me and feel this love.
Anyway the other thing I was thinking about is time management, and what I am doing with my focus. There are so many things I want to do. This week I have been wanting to work out, to get buff and sexy, and to sun-bathe....... Ah, if only. But alas, those are vain pursuits, and I am only doing them for vanity reasons. Does it really matter if my butt is jiggly or firm? Is that going to help my children grow closer to God and feel their worth? Is that going to help ME grow closer to God and serve in the kingdom? Okay okay, I need to reorganize my priorities. Because currently I am not even in the habit of daily scripture study. This is something I have struggled with ever since I got married. I used to love studying my scriptures--back when I had time for myself all day, even day (Isn't college great? Nobody to look after except yourself! No parents to tell you what to do! 24 hours a day of discretionary time! Well, kids, enjoy it while you can!!) And then I got married, and I didn't know how to make time for myself or where to find privacy. Then we had kids and well, you can't even use the bathroom without a toddler hanging onto your pants! I can't wake up before my kids, and after they go to sleep, husband needs some time. It is very, very difficult to get time to myself (I've considered arranging weekly daycare just for this). So when I get those moments, it comes down to this - computer? exercise? journal? - scriptures is kind of my last thought.
So anyway, sorry I am long-winded. The moral of the story is that my butt is going to be jiggly and I'm going to have an awesome farmers tan. Sweetie, deal with it. I will be more spiritual because of it. :-)
6 comments:
I know how you feel :) I think my new goal is to get up early. I get one day a week where I work and the boys go to my mom's but the babysitting isn't helping with attachment at home so I need to find time that they are still 'with me' but maybe sleeping :) I hate having to wake up but I'm fine once I get over the hump. I know if I just do it (especially in the summer) I'll probably get more reading done like I would like to and spend some time on the rebounder. I'm finding if I do sports with the boys I get my exercise! Two birds one stone.
Remember too, our work as mother's is a form of prayer :) If we offer all of our labors God understands that we are offering a sacrafice of love. We give all of ourselves as mother's with little time to reflect and that is the prayer we get to offer.
Lest anyone reading this think I'm a jerk, I have never even begun to complain about anyone's butt being "jiggly" or anyone's farmer's tan. Nor have I requested that either be changed. Just thought I'd throw that in there...
R
No, Rychen isn't a jerk!! But I am still sorry I can't offer him more :)
You are so funny! I totally miss chating with you. I would love if we lived close enough so you guys could come over for dinner and games tonight!
Something I realized is that Julie Beck and her councilors certainly don't have rock hard bodies, and they might even be a little "pudgy" and not gorgeous by the worlds standards, but they are some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Good luck with your new goals! :)
love that post. so true! i had to laught at the toddlers-on-your-pants in the bathroom part. haha.
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