I am becoming more confident and assertive. You may have noticed I've been sharing more personal things here instead of just the family anecdotes.
I am aware that people close to me talk behind my back. Three times now, mutual acquaintances have relayed to me a conversation they had with a family member along the lines of how crazy I am to birth at home. I want you to know that this hurts me, and each time I went home crying. Partly for the accusation and partly for the superficial relationship of a close relative who secretly (or publicly, apparently) judges me.
I would like to explain homebirth to anybody who is unfamiliar with it. I fear that many people jump to conclusions before having an accurate understanding of what goes on, how a midwife is trained, and even how different birth can be when a woman is in a natural, comfortable setting rather than a rushed, high-tech, cold atmosphere. Many people don't realize that birth outcomes in American hospitals are actually pretty dismal, compared to other developed countries. And they don't realize that many complications that are commonplace in the hospital are actually prevented at home. I have many statistics for those who are interested in comparison. And I can explain hormones and birth physiology, which helps to understand how birth is safer and fewer complications arise when a woman is comfortable.
I have already typed up an explanation but then decided not to post it on my blog (mainly because it's so lengthy). If any of you are interested, please ask and I will e-mail it to you.
6 comments:
I think that home birth is great. I may do one with a 3rd someday. I have been lucky to have good natural births at the hospital, but I am definitely not closed to the idea at all. How much does it cost to have a home birth? I'm sorry that family and friends talk behind your back..... people are scared of things that they don't understand. That is why it is so important to educate ourselves. Even if it isn't something they would ever do, they can at least try to understand where you are coming from.
Most midwives fees are $2-3K which includes prenatal and postpartum visits, some lab work, and the entire birth (2-3 attendants).
I really wish more people had asked me about it. I expected to hear more, "Oh, you want what? Why?" But no, they didn't even ask why! Wouldn't even educate themselves on the subject but then continue to worry about us. And I mean stupid stuff like the mere fact that midwives are medically trained and they DO transport when a problem arises.
You know what I think? You don't have to explain yourself to anyone! People are going to think what they want to think. You are strong in your choices right? I know it's easier said than done but don't be bugged by others' opinions! :) /hug
I'm glad you said something actually. Homebirth is a tender subject for me because of 4-5 people I know that could have had a safe birth at a hospital. One thing that really hits hard for me is that my daughter, Michelle would have been seriously injured if I would have had her at home. My nephew would have died if he wouldn't have been born in a hospital. My question is why is home birth necessary when you could go to a community hospital that has medical help immediately available? The other thing is, everyone is different and their desires. I feel comfortable in hospitals. I love being pampered and feeling safe. With Zac, the doctor was a dork and gave us a lot of pressure to do C-section (because of his heartrate), but we just kept telling her no and she complied. I've known many friends that have chosen a community hospital that felt they had the same experience they would have at home. Anyways, sorry this is so long. I DO have a lot of respect for you that you are able to do everything without medication and grateful everything has been safe for you--I hope that will continue!
Great question! Why would anybody want to birth at home where things might happen, when there is a hospital with everything ready to go?
That's a great question, and I can totally understand why you would ask that. That is precisely why homebirthers are called crazy.
All I want to do is answer that question! Yes I have the answer!
I think it's a preferance and it should be respected regardless. If someone wants a baby at a hospital, then respect if, if they want an epidural, respect it, and if someone wants to have their baby at home, or unassisted at home, respect it just like you respect that woman in puerto rico or where ever who delivers her baby by herself in the field and goes back to work. We don't call her nuts, so why do we call woman in American nuts who choose to homebirth? I just think it needs to be respected. On another note, I have had 6 children, first 5 were in a hospital, 1 a forcept birth, 1 an emergency c-section, last one an unassisted, at home, no one came to help me take care of my home and 5 children after the birth, and I didn't care, I LOVED IT! I loved being at home, and I think that if I had had my first five at home (granted, I didn't have the support I would have needed back then) I would have, and those births that were traumatic, would have been fine. It's a preferance. And getting called crazy gets old after a while. I hear it enough for homeschooling. Homebirth scares people because they don't understand it, we fear what we don't understand. BIrth is so personal, and if someone feels safe in a hospital, or at home, then that is where they should be.
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